Bemused....

Am writing blog after a long time…actually I prefer writing on dairy..but this time….i thought its better that I use my blog too :P
Things have turned really hard this time..as if some kind of muddiness have surrounded me and I am desperately searching a way out…looking for some faintest hope coming…trying to defend my thoughts…attempting to console my heart that things are right in place..just going through a rough phase of life…but still time to time my mind whispers “whom are you trying to fool?”
Is it true that am trying to fool myself only?do I need to compose myself and grow up?try actually to trust people? Sometimes I feel the way things are now only a miracle can change things back to normal…but again that’s I hope which I don’t wanna live with…what if things never get right..what if the questions laddering in my mind never gets sorted out? they say blame others n feel unshamefaced..but sometimes it feels good to think that you are the perpetrator..phew “wish I was the only one to be blamed”..but this stupid mind of mine keeps on blabbering that “you do have some reasons”why do I expect too much? Why cant I expect the fact that am not always needed?... why do I scathe my mind for something that will never happen probably? Why cant we erase out faults n wish that something would have never happened?
Its true that people change..their feelings change and most importantly situations change and if you r wiling to stay with that person accept him with the change…I coped up with it…now what if I see that the person havnt changed only the things for me have changed? Is it still easy to accept it? If its so then why do I feel so unmanageable?